I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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