How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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