There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
