dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Michael Bay diarrhea
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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