Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
