I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
