Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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