She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize