my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
