i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
