Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
