before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
