go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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