Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
