Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
