They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
