Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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