Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
