Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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