Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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