dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
