Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
