After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
