I love black thongs
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
