just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
