Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize