At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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