You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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