The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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