U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
where am i from again
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
