idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
