I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
