Are we in a gay sports bar?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
