My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
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