Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so let's talk penis.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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