My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize