I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
