My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
