she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize