Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
