I bet he comes in French.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I see more hoeing in ur future
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
