it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
