He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
