Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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