i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
