Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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