from now on my penis is your penis
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it was like eating out sand paper
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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