Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
NoShamevember. You game?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
