Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
