Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Still dying that you shit outside
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Shame - the story of my life.
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