At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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