His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
