You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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