Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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