worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
