Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
birth control should be required to get into college
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
