It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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