You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
