After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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