I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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