Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
nutella sex= disaster
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
