There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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