You smell like a Billy Joel song
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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