so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize