Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
