Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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