Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
