Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
